Just Another Disappointment
by QuestionablyInsane
Summary: 'Her pain both broke her apart and yet held her together" Hook finds Regina on the beach, her faith in finding her son fading and opens her eyes to the magic of a night in Neverland. HookedQueen ;)


**Just Another Disappointment**

A/N: Yay, more HQ which just won't leave me be! P.S. Don't judge me too harshly, this is the first ever time I've written anything remotely smutty, and feedback would be much appreciated! ;)

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The sand between her toes was nothing like she'd imagined. It wasn't soft and powdery like in the books and it felt nothing like silk beneath her feet. Instead it was cold and sticky, irritating her toes as they flexed and explored this strange new material. It was hard and gritty, yet another disappointment that in retrospect shouldn't make her as sad as it actually did.

Regina gazed out across the teal ocean, relishing in the few moments she had alone since they'd set off on this journey to find her son. A few minutes of peace and quiet away from the nauseating idiots, their daughter and Rumplestiltskin. She paused and took a deep breath of salty sea air; yes, it was nice to be alone again.

In all her years in Maine and the enchanted forest before that, not to mention the various lands she'd visited in between, Regina had actually never been to the beach. Never truly smelt the sea salt, the frigid ocean breeze or that quintessential beach atmosphere. All in all, she considered it was quite disillusioning; a bit of a let-down from what she'd seen in movies, or read in books. She sighed deeply, but then again wasn't everything?

On the plus side she countered, Neverland had a warmer climate than Maine, at least whilst the sun was up, and she'd finally been able to shed the trench coat she'd donned since they'd set sail. Running a hand through her short hair, she returned to staring across the ocean, mesmerized by the steady rise and fall of the waves. It was soothing in a way; and not for the first time she could imagine why a person would be tempted to spend a lifetime at sea.

Was that a fin? She rolled her eyes slightly; of course there'd be mermaids here. Tricky creatures, or so she'd heard; but Henry had always enjoyed bed-time stories about them.

Henry. Her heart ached desperately whenever he crossed her mind, which was pretty much a constant, and she felt her anger returning. Why hadn't they found him yet? Where had they taken him and why? She hated all the unanswered questions, hated not being in control of what was happening around her. And unfortunately for those who were around her, she'd taken to letting her anger out on all of them.

Hook, seemingly by his own self-sacrifice, had notably taken most of her rage and allowed her to rant away, her comments brushing over him with little to no effect. He'd answered her back, argued even, if it seemed she needed retaliation, and that in itself surprised her. She was surprised by how well he could read her and a little bit wary of it too. She felt on-guard around him, like she had to be careful not to let her façade slip; it would be too easy for him to find her weaknesses and exploit them. Like so many had done before, before she'd learnt to keep her emotions hidden and trust no-one.

A crashing wave startled her from her musings and she was surprised to find the water level had risen to only a few feet from where she was stood. Wary of the new land and its strange magic she inched backwards and almost tripped over a pile of rocks, 'stupid bloody beach' she mumbled under her breath, up righting herself with as much dignity as she could muster.

"Oh come now, you have to admit that it's a beautiful sight, even up to her majesty's standards" a drawl came from up the beach and she heard footsteps approach her.

Regina sighed in annoyance, so much for a few minutes alone. No-one on this blasted ship knew or respected boundaries and it was beginning to get on her last nerve.

"Captain" she said curtly, hoping he'd get the message and leave her be.

Unfortunately subtly had never sat well with Hook and he stood alongside her, thankfully leaving a small amount of personal space, and gazed out to the ocean, "Sure beats the pathetic shoreline you called a beach back in Storybrooke"

"I wouldn't know I never went there" she said coolly, focusing her attention on the small island in the middle of the bay, was that something moving there? Was that where Henry was?

Squinting slightly she sighed with resignation, it was nothing more than a bird rustling in a tree. Her fingers itched impatiently, oh how she wished she had her magic here! She'd have her son back in no time, and no amount of ridiculous so called 'shadow people' would stand in her way.

"We will find him you know" Hook said, his knowledge of what was going through her mind was a little uncanny.

She didn't answer right away, still taken by the melodic rise and fall of the ocean and she found herself hating the fact he was attempting to be comforting. She didn't want comfort and she didn't need pity, "Oh I'd forgotten you could see the future – you and Rumplestiltskin should really talk about that" she snapped, and almost regretted it as his face clouded over.

Instead of taking offence and leaving her be, as she wished, she heard the sound a metallic click and turned to find him swigging from a hipflask.

"You've been holding back on us Captain" she said, raising an eyebrow in surprise at the sight of the rum.

He smirked and took another gulp, "The perks of it being my ship, mean that it's also _my_ rum"

Regina almost laughed and was about to demand some when she found herself surprised that he held it out, "Luckily, you seem to need it almost as much as I do" he offered.

Trying not to let her surprise show through she tentatively took a sip, relishing the burn of the spicy liquid, and then took a larger gulp. "Careful love, its strong stuff" he warned, although there was a teasing smile tugging at his lips.

Regina glared over the rim of the flask and then handed it back, "Oh Captain believe me, I can handle my liquor"

Hook chuckled and shrugged, "I don't doubt that you can"

They fell back into a peaceful silence, passing the flask between them until it was empty and the sun was slowly descending towards the horizon. The endless silence drove her to a yawn; with Henry still missing, her sleep had been fitful and broken.

"I'm almost certain it's a little too early for this to be a nightcap"

Regina glared at him, "Don't push it" she warned, her voice low and dark. All she wanted was some bloody space, a chance to try and clear her head, "Just leave me be" she sighed.

"I don't think that's such a good idea; see, they sent me to make sure you didn't do anything stupid"

Her jaw dropped in stunned anger, "How bloody dare they….!"

Hook shrugged and looked back towards the sea, "If you need to talk, your majesty, I'll pretend to listen" he said sarcastically, smirking at her fury.

Regina practically shook with rage, "If I ever, ever needed to talk to anyone, you would be the last person on the planet I'd choose, _pirate_" she spat.

The flashing hatred in her eyes sparked his own annoyance, "I suggest you keep some sort of control over that pretty little mouth of yours; I am, after all, the only one who can truly help you find your son here"

Her slap took him by surprise but he stared her down, surprised by the tumultuous anger and confusion in her eyes. She was conflicted and possibly slightly tipsy, a heady mix of emotions and quite clearly spoiling for a fight. He was completely blind-sided by how his body reacted to that; since when did an angry queen become a turn-on? He had to fight back a laugh, perhaps he was a masochist at heart, because that could never, would never, happen.

Contemplative silence washed over them and suddenly she turned and stepped closer to him, her face mere inches from his chest. Her hateful eyes met those filled with fiery passion and she felt his lips crash down to hers at the same time she found her hands tugging her up at his collar. The shock she felt was immediately drowned out by her body's reaction; god it had been a long time since she'd been kissed like this. In fact, she sighed, she couldn't ever remember being kissed with this much passion before. With Daniel it had been sweet, gentle kisses stolen in the orchard or stables, away from prying eyes and with Graham and his numerous successors it had always lacked that certain…je ne sais quoi.

Her brain snapped back and she remembered she was supposed to be angry at him, but her mouth and body refused to cooperate and pull away. Instead she was tugging at his shirt and running her hand through his thick hair, all too aware of his hook running smoothly up and down her spine. It sent tingles from the top of her head to the tip of her toes and her eyes rolled back as she bit back a groan. She needed this, a distraction, anything. Something to numb the pain she felt clouded in on her from all angles; she needed to feel something.

He deftly unbuttoned her shirt and she felt him smirk against her lips as he pressed his hook to the small of her back, the cold metal causing her to hiss at its touch. She retaliated by biting down on his lower lip and he brought his mouth up, "Now now; play nice" he whispered, his hot breath tickling her ear.

"Where's the fun in that?" Her voice came out so low and husky that she barely recognised it as her own, too consumed by how her body felt under his touch. His hand and mouth were everywhere, setting her skin on fire as she found her control slipping. Her mind was still yelling at her to stop but her hands worked at their own accord undoing his belt as her mouth worked along his jawline with almost as much ferocity as his hand was kneading her breast.

Her legs were growing weak as her desire rose and with a small push he toppled backwards, landing on the hard sand with a grunt. She quickly kissed him before he could protest and he worked on pushing her skirt down her legs, his calloused hand still roughly massaging her breast.

As clothing disappeared Regina scowled at the gritty rub of the sand on her bare skin, yet another disappointment they didn't prepare you for in the books. She was momentarily disheartened but let out of a deep moan as he unexpectedly moved the lace aside and pushed two fingers in, apparently quite the expert.

She tried to fight back her moans, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing her his actions were affecting her, but eventually settled for muffling them into his shoulder.

Pushing the sensation of his skilful fingers from her mind, she deftly reached between them and eased off his pants; stunning him with the speed in which she had her hand showing him just who was in control. He groaned into her hair and took her momentary victory as a sign of weakness, flipping them over quickly so her back dug into the cold sand.

Working his fingers quickly his thumb rubbed and pressed against her clit, driving her fast and furiously towards the end, determined to have her at his beck and call. Regina of course was having none of it and was playing just as dirty as he was, running her hand agonisingly slowly along his length before grazing her nails lightly back down it, causing him to hiss against her breast. She smirked as shivers ran down her spine, and worked her hand expertly, running the pad of her thumb over his tip before pulling it away completely.

He groaned and nipped playfully at her breast before meeting her dark, lust-filled eyes, "We don't have all day…Captain" she breathed heavily, raising an eyebrow almost in a silent dare.

Moving his weight slightly she found him looking to her for confirmation but she turned her head away as he entered her, squeezing her eyes shut and rocking her hips up to his.

His low groan as they found their rhythm near enough drove her insane and she soon found herself ignoring the persistent scratch of the sand on her back, the noisy crash of the ocean, or the whistle of wind through the trees. All she could hear was the sound of heavy breathing, of skin slapping together and for once, she was anything but disgusted.

His hand still roamed as he thrust fast and deep, one found her breast and his hook rested cold against her stomach as they clung to each other, breathing heavily through rushed kisses and the inevitable moans she'd tried so hard to fight.

His stubble scratched as he buried his face in her shoulder, breathing shallowly as his hand returned between her thighs, roughly rubbing against her clit in an attempt to speed things along. Regina was relieved rather than insulted, her brain couldn't make head or tail of this, but as she mewled at his touch she drew her nails down his back, eliciting a guttural moan from the pirate. He'd no doubt be marked for days.

She could feel herself racing towards the end, and his frantic pace told a similar story as he gripped her hip and groaned loudly as she felt him tense and tremble, shuddering as he near-enough collapsed onto her. She was about to make a quip about how women never made it to the end as he pulled out, when she felt his length replaced nimbly by his fingers. He worked diligently, almost determined to repay the favour as he pressed hot kisses along her collarbone, up her neck and to her mouth, his hand moving expertly to drive her towards her climax.

She moaned and pushed her hips up, his thumb pressing almost painfully against the most sensitive of spots and suddenly she saw stars, feeling the intense crash of pleasure wash over her as her body trembled and she drew handfuls of gritty sand, biting down hard on her lip.

Surprisingly he waited for her to come down from her high before removing his hand and rolling off her, silently gazing up at the stars as they both fought to catch their breath.

As the lusty fog on her mind lifted, she pulled her shirt back across her chest and shivered in the cool breeze. Neither spoke and what must've been mere minutes felt like an eternity as her mind went into overdrive and panic, "What…did we just do!" she mumbled, more to herself than anything.

Hook smirked, back to his usual self, and moved on to his side to face her, "I believe the colloquial term would be hate sex"

She rolled her eyes and snorted in a very un-Regina-like manner, "That sounds about right"

Regina lay on her back and stared up silently; stars were beginning to shine through the navy sky, the last of the sun slipping below the horizon, and it was truly beautiful. Her mind was racing in a million directions and she couldn't quite believe this was real, it felt like a dream, like she was watching herself in a movie. Henry was missing and she was busy acting like a lust-fuelled teenager! With a pirate none the less! She didn't even want to think about the fact that she was still laying half-naked on a cold Neverland beach!

Dragging her gaze away from the beauty of the night sky she pulled herself into a sitting position and reached for her skirt, tugging it back on and brushing her hair from her face as she re-buttoned her shirt. She felt small and emptier than ever before; always surrounded by people but with no-one to talk to. Even this, a scenario in which she'd never even imagined herself, seemed somehow to be a disappointment. Just another one to add to the endless list.

"Leaving so soon?" he quipped, still lying on the sand with a lazy grin on his face.

Regina stood up and dusted off the sand, "This never happened…." she said, the warning in her voice clearly evident even without the words, "Never"

As she walked away he sat up and watched her leave, digging her toes into the sand as if she was still marvelling at its touch. Despite everything he knew about women, and even what he knew about the Evil Queen, something about her had seemed different just then. She no longer had the fiery determination in her eyes from the day they'd set off. It was fading, as if she was beginning to lose hope, and it made her look even more broken than ever before. Oh, he knew she kept walls up and put on a tough mask, but he'd always seen how she hurt. How her pain both broke her apart and yet held her together. She wouldn't be who she was today if she didn't have her pain.

For a brief moment in between the passion he'd seen a glimpse of a Regina he was unfamiliar with. Her eyes had flickered with sadness and betrayed her feelings, showing her constant fight for control as nothing more than a fight for approval. Approval for what, or from whom, he didn't know, but he found it almost tragic that even in the most natural of acts, she couldn't just be herself. She could never let her guard down enough to let anyone in; and although it felt unnatural to him, the pirate found it almost heart-breaking.

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A/N2: Reviews and/or concrit are much appreciated, just be gentle with me :-) (Also, I was kind of aiming for a sad vibe not a fluffy/romantic one, so I get that it's probably not the best love scene ever).


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